Monday, July 20, 2009


(before getting my port placed- like my lovely hat??)

What a week!

This week was crazy and full of heartache, tears, sickness and laughter- just a bag full of emotions. My week started with a nasty medical adversion to some medications I was taking. I spent the day with itchy skin and my hands and feet feeling like they were on fire. I had to take a double dose of Benedryl just to sleep.

On Monday I had my very first PET scan. A PET scan is a type of scan that gives the doctor a good idea if cancer is elsewhere in the body. I was feeling so bad with nausea that I ended up falling asleep on the table for the 30 minutes it took for the scan to be over and done with. Thankfully, they give you one of those blankets that feel like they were heated up in a dryer- so cozy. Afterwards, for some reason I was massively hungry- it was crazy because I was so nauseated. I scarfed down eggs, pancakes and bacon :) I paid for it later.

On Tuesday- I had to get up early AGAIN and have a port placed. A port is a device that is placed under the skin so that when I go for chemo treatments instead of the IV going into my arm and risk getting bruised up, it goes into this device. Everyone at the surgicenter at Christiana were amazing and so caring- that I was actually very calm about the whole thing. The whole procedure took about an hour and a half and I left with my new accessory. It's hard to get used to something being in my chest, and sleeping is not fun- esp when you like to sleep on your side and stomach- haha!

Sadly, later that day- I received a phone call I wish I never receive. My brother had called me that my parent's home had caught on fire. Their attic caught on fire and caused extreme damage to several rooms in the house. I was so glad that my parents were ok. My family is my life and if anything happened to them I really don't know what I would have done. As of this evening they are waiting to hear about the status of the house. It's sad to see your home. The home where you grew up and had so many memories be hurt and battered. It's even worse to see a orange note on your home saying it's uninhabital due to danger. How did it get there and why did it happen to loving parents who would do anything for their kids? I didn't want to question God with my why's cause I thought that would mean that I didn't trust Him. I didn't know that my journey would now include my family and hoping that they would have a place to live. God is good and His way is Perfect- although it may not be evident in the beginning

The rest of the week was full of sickness, tiredness and just plain wishing I felt ok. It was like I lost everything I had to just be able to move around and be normal. Little things like being able to type on my computer or just watch a tv program was so difficult, because I felt so horrible. Luckily, Friday came around and I was able to go to the chiropractor and felt so much relief.

On Saturday the time came for me to cut my hair. I wanted to cut my hair because I couldn't face the fact that I could lose my long hair during simple things like sleeping or washing my hair. I figured the shorter the better. I was nervous because the last time I had short hair was 1991 in the 7th grade. I thought I looked like a boy. haha. It was a bad year, and I remembered what my hair looked like when it was growing out- shallow as it sounds, I was scared of looking bad- I know there are other things to be worried about, like living, but this was a big concern of mine. I have the best support a girl could ever ask for. Just to have my hair cut I had my family waiting outside the salon waiting with hugs and prayers- knowing that this was one of the hardest things I would face on top of being diagnosed. I am glad Ashli was fabulous and knew how to make it cute and funky. Something I would not even try without having a reason to try it. Through tears and support, I made it through and guess what? I actually like it.

The final result:

My awesome family:

(i have to get a better picture) lol
Sunday was an awesome service- the best part was to finally grieve. I had been trying so hard to be strong and stay positive that I really forgot to grieve and really cry out to Him. It's hard letting go and letting emotions really show when you feel tired or scared. I heard this song below many times this weekend- and it really rounded up this week. Praise Him in the Storm.

I look forward to feeling better this week and prepare for round 2. Keep praying!

Praise You In The Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away


I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth


1 comment:

  1. Sandra, what an incredible journey and testimony!

    Lisa Tracy-Nyinaku